A Grief That Can’t Be Spoken

Backstory: 

I live every day with a chronic illness and autoimmune disease. This is something that no one really understands unless they go through it themselves. It makes it hard for me to make it through every day with the constant fatigue and pain in my body as well as other frustrating and annoying symptoms. The other day when I was thinking about my chronic illness, I had the words of the song from the musical Les Miserables called Empty Chairs at Empty Tables going through my head. I especially think these words apply to me with my health struggles: “there’s a grief that can’t be spoken, as the pain goes on and on.” 

A Grief That Can’t Be Spoken

Empty chairs are at empty tables when you have a chronic illness

Because you feel like no one really understands the loneliness

Of going through every day with your body having one crazy symptom after another,

You try to let others know how you feel but they really can’t even though they are a sister or a brother.

There’s a grief you have to get used to

And that sometimes will make you feel kinda blue.

Chronic pain is invisible to most people outside of your body,

But you really wish they could walk in your shoes for a minute for them to truly see.

Like the empty chairs, others don’t see what hurts or what is missing

And you constantly wish for a doctor that could to your body be fixing.

Unlike most trials in this life, there is no clear ending to a chronic illness,

So you have to work with that kind of grief which sometimes steals your bliss.

But no trial in this life is ever wasted

Even though for your moments of hope you have patiently waited.

No matter how hard things get day to day,

There is always hope because of your Savior who loves you more than you could ever say.

Only Jesus can truly sympathize with what you are going through,

He knows how you are feeling at every moment and He will always be there for you.

Your grief and pain are never unspoken to Him,

And because of this hope you never need to think that your life is grim.

The Takeaway: We all have hard trials that we have to endure in this life. Our earth life wasn’t meant to be a piece of cake. Sometimes we might feel like we are all alone at a table all by ourselves with nothing but empty chairs around us. But we are never really alone and there is always hope because of our Savior. He has felt all of our pain and heartache. We can always talk to Him and He will understand exactly how we feel.

Healing Waters

Backstory:

I listened to a really good audiobook called Chariots to Jordan by E. James Harrison. It’s a biblical historical fiction. Part of the story is about Naaman being healed from leprosy by the prophet Elisha in 2 Kings in the Bible. This story can teach us so much-especially about humility, faith and God’s power to heal all who come unto Him.

Healing Waters

Naaman was a great military leader of Syria,

He was powerful and successful and for the praise of the world he met all the criteria.

He had an affliction called leprosy that got worse over time,

He tried to hide his disease from others because to them it was a sort of a crime.

He didn’t want to be persecuted and ostracized by other people,

Because he knew their persecution of him wouldn’t be peaceful.

His servant girl told him of a prophet named Elisha who could heal him from this affliction,

Naaman wasn’t convinced at first but eventually he agreed to see him so he could be healed from his condition.

So Naaman traveled to see this prophet and he probably expected to be healed in an instant,

And he probably imagined that after the healing his skin would again look brilliant.

He was told to wash in the Jordan River seven times and then he would again be whole,

Naaman was at first offended that Elisha didn’t even want to see him in his big role.

But he humbled himself because his illness made him desperate for healing,

After washing in the river seven times no one could imagine the change that he was feeling.

But it wasn’t the river that healed him, it was his faith that made the difference,

And after this experience he knew that God would help him and be his deliverance.

The path forward to healing for Naaman was very simple,

And in his life it probably didn’t seem very comfortable.

But he was obedient and did what God asked of him,

And only after he had faith he was healed and then his life no longer seemed so grim.

The Takeaway: We can learn a lot from this story about faith and obedience. Sometimes the greatest miracles come in our lives when we choose to step into the waters of healing with faith that we will be healed. And sometimes we aren’t healed the way we expected or imagined that we would be. But we need to take that first step forward in faith and then those miracles will happen for us.

Lord, Abide with Me

Lord, Abide with Me

Lord Jesus, I know that I am weak on my own,

Please abide with me so I am never alone.

Especially as the light fades, stay with me in the darkness,

Until I fall asleep and am no longer conscious.

Daily my body is in pain and weak,

Please stay with me every day through the week.

I have days when I feel discouraged and like darkness follows me everywhere I go,

Help me feel thy Loving Light on my face so that with you I can glow.

When I am feeling like I am at the end of my rope,

Please be with me so that I can always feel like there is hope.

I don’t know why I have to go through the hard trials that I do,

Just help me to not feel so blue.

Please be with me when I have to wait for answers to my prayers,

And help me feel like you are always there.

I wish that I could see You standing there beside me,

And then maybe from my trials I could feel free.

I know that life isn’t meant to be easy,

Help me feel like You love me deeply.

I know that You do love me for who I really am on the inside,

And that with me, You will always reside.

The Takeaway: There are moments in this life when we all feel alone and like no one understands what we are going through. But we are never alone because we always have our Savior who is waiting and willing to abide with us every minute of every day. We just need to invite Him into our lives and our hearts and there He will stay.

Walking by Faith

Backstory:

I was thinking about faith the other day, and the scripture in 2 Corinthians 5:7 came to my mind that says that we “walk by faith and not by sight.” I researched the meaning behind this scripture as well as the comparisons between using our eyes or walking by sight and walking by faith. In this scripture Paul reminds us that what we see now is not the whole story. And that life is temporary, but eternal life with God is real and sure.

Our sight allows us to see what is before our eyes,

We rely on light, distance, clarity and evidence as our prize.

Our eyes help us navigate daily life safely and practically

And they show us facts, circumstances, and outward appearances rapidly.

But we can only see what is right in front of us

Because our vision can be blocked or incomplete and this is not a plus.

What we see with our eyes isn’t always the full truth

Because appearances can deceive us, especially in our youth.

Walking by faith and not by sight

Can move our spiritual eyes to new heights.

With faith, we trust in our Maker even when we don’t know what is going to happen,

But that trust in the Being bigger than us should lead us to action.

When we have faith, we rely on God’s promises rather than our circumstances,

And we can see better with our new faith glasses.

Even though we can’t see the big picture in front of our eyes

We move forward despite uncertainty as our spirits start to rise.

Looking through eyes of faith, we can see hope when sight sees hardships coming closer,

We can see purpose when sight sees delays right near our shoulder.

Eyes show us the brushstrokes of life

When faith shows us the Artist free from strife.

The Takeaway: We use our eyes all day every day when we are awake. I, for one, am so grateful for all that my eyes help me to see. But our eyes limit us to what we only see in the moment. If we walk with eyes of faith then we will see the big picture instead of just the brushstrokes in front of our eyes. If we trust and have faith in our Loving Father in Heaven, then He can help us see with more spiritual eyes. His vision of our lives is beautiful and we need to trust that He has a plan for each one of us.

Trust the Master Poet

Backstory:

I have always enjoyed literature and books. Writing has been a really great outlet for me the last few years. I heard of this metaphor and really liked it: that we may only see one stanza of a poem at a time-but God knows the entire poem-and it is beautiful, even when it’s unfinished. This really resonated with me being a poet and with my love for words and books.

Trust the Master Poet

We experience life line by line,

We don’t see the big picture because our vision is so fine.

Just one stanza of a poem may feel awkward and incomplete,

And in the beginning of writing it the theme doesn’t yet feel concrete.

As our Master Poet, our Loving Father in Heaven

Sees the whole poem in its entirety and its theme is never in question.

He sees the opening lines, the long middle where growth happens,

And the final resolution that brings meaning to every earlier line and all of its captions.

What feels like a rough draft to us with our paper and pen,

To our Father is part of His divine plan in the end.

Our unfinished lines in our poems of life,

To us may seem like failures full of strife.

Our inward growth in life is not about perfection in a single moment,

But as long as we progress and keep writing until we are out of content,

Then our Savior comes along and turns our unfinished work into a perfect and beautiful masterpiece,

And we can finish our rough draft with Him as our editor whispering in our ears words of love and peace. 

Some of the most powerful poems are full of hard moments when the soul is aching and yearning for more,

Our lives are the same because we long to be in our Father’s Loving Arms but all we need to do is open the door.

And one day after this life is over-our poem of life will be read aloud in its finished state,

Then all of our earthly cares will be gone and our souls won’t feel so much weight.

The Takeaway: We are all writing our unique stories while we live on this earth. But we are never alone in our journey in mortality. By our side is our Master Editor in our Savior, Jesus Christ. He will help us erase our shortcomings and weaknesses. He will be there to whisper words of love and peace to our minds when we feel darkness inside. Our Father will also be there as our Master Poet to help us write our stories into something beautiful and full of purpose. 

Fresh Starts

Backstory:

I saw a post on Facebook that I really liked. It said, “Our hope is not in the New Year, but in the One who makes all things new.” That quote and our outlook on the New Year should shift our focus from time to the Savior. 

Fresh Starts

A new year often represents fresh starts, resolutions and optimism for the future,

But if we changed our perspective about time, that would be super.

Because time has no power to change hearts, heal wounds or save souls,

So as we turn our calendars, we should turn our souls to Jesus in His various roles.

If our hope lies only in a date

Then it can quickly fade when we can’t keep our priorities straight.

Jesus is where true hope lies for each one of us on this earth,

For He can help us feel our Divine Worth.

Jesus doesn’t just improve things in our life,

He can transform our problems so we won’t feel so much strife.

Because of His Atonement, He can soften our hardened heart,

So that we can have a fresh new start.

Because of Jesus, we always a new beginning every day,

And our sins and weaknesses can be washed away.

Jesus doesn’t erase our trials, but He will walk with us through them,

And will give us power and strength to endure whatever is put before us then.

If we put our trust in the One who makes all things new,

Then our outlook on our lives every day will be renewed.

When we feel alone and weary,

Jesus will come into our story and make our darkest days seem less dreary.

The Takeaway: We tend to look forward to a new year because we don’t know what trials we will face and we like to dream of what could happen in the coming year. If we change our focus to our Savior, He will make all things in our lives feel renewed. He will give us hope for every day and every trial we face. Because of Him, there is always hope.

Deep Roots of Faith

Backstory:

I was on a walk at the park with Mike and Coco and I noticed that there were a few trees that had roots that you could see above the surface of the soil. I mentioned this to Mike and he commented that a strong wind would knock those ones over easily. Later, I was pondering this experience and it made me wonder to myself, “how strong are the roots of my faith? Are they above the ground or under the surface? Could a strong wind of life uproot the roots of my faith? And what can I do to strengthen those roots?”

Deep Roots of Faith

Trees with visible, shallow roots may look established and strong,

But when strong winds come, they are vulnerable when something goes wrong.

If our faith roots are above the ground,

Then we are mostly built on outward things that can be found.


And when the strong winds of life come,

We won’t be able to tell where our faith comes from.

But if our faith has deep roots beneath the surface,

Then our lives will have more of a purpose.

Our trials in this life symbolize the strong winds that blow,

If our faith is rooted in our Savior, then we can go with the flow.

To deepen the roots of our faith

We need to make sure that we keep our thoughts straight.

Roots that grow deep take time,

And to grow faith that is strong requires a steep climb.

But with time and patience we can develop deep roots 

That will eventually yield to us delicious fruits.

To strengthen the roots of our faith tree,

We need to focus our minds and hearts on the One who calms the winds of the sea.

When Christ is our foundation, our roots may bend,

But we will know that on Jesus we can always depend.

The Takeaway: Just as a tree needs strong roots beneath the surface to withstand the strong winds that occasionally blow, our faith needs deep roots to withstand the trials that we face in this life. To be sufficiently strong, our faith needs to be anchored in our Savior, Jesus Christ. Then with Him by our side, we can withstand anything life throws at us. 

Redeemed Over and Over Again

Backstory:
I watched a couple episodes of the Chosen recently that were powerful to me. I love the story of Mary Magdalene. In one episode she says something like that Jesus knows we can’t be holy without Him. In another episode, Mary went back into a couple of her old ways. 2 of Jesus’ disciples came and took her back to the camp where Jesus was. She was very emotional and ashamed about sinning again after being redeemed earlier by Jesus. She went to talk to Jesus after she came back. Jesus said to her, “Did you really think you would never sin again?” Jesus didn’t condemn her and His compassion for her in that moment is incredible. He has that kind of compassion and love for all of us as well.

Redeemed Over and Over Again

We are all human and we make mistakes over and over again,

Our Father in Heaven knew we would need a Savior then.

He sent His Beloved Son to redeem all mankind,

So that we could make it back to Him and our redemption find.


Jesus loves us so much

And any time of the day we can feel His Loving Touch.

He doesn’t shame us when we fail to measure up,

We just need to trust in Him to fill our faith cup.


Sometimes we may feel discouraged because we are so flawed,

But if we could see Jesus’ compassion and love for us, we would be awed.

Even though we make mistakes and mess up every day,

Jesus will never leave us and with us He will stay.


If you ask yourself the question, “If I mess up again, will God still want me?”,

The resounding answer will always be, “Yes!” and this should fill your heart with glee.

The grace of Jesus meets us where we are

And we should know that with Him by our side, we can go far.


Jesus whispers to us that we are loved no matter what we do,

And we can feel that incredible love especially when we are feeling blue.

That love never runs out,

And of that knowledge we should not doubt.


The Takeaway: We are all human and we constantly make mistakes every day. We might feel overwhelmed at times by our many weaknesses and shortcomings. We may even feel like giving up when we try to change. But we are never alone in this quest. Our Savior will always be there to redeem us when we fail and carry us on our hardest days.